I could not take it anymore I burst in tears. Realising that, my mother turned to me and asked, “Are you okay?” Of course that was a lie.Īll the while, I had stood there listening with my head down. When asked about that night, Grandpa only claimed that he had been sleepwalking, thinking my aunt had been Grandma. That was also how we all learned why all housemaids and nurses had resigned. “He can still function,” my mother reasoned, trying to remain calm since she was the eldest daughter. Once everybody learned the harsh truth, she was crying even harder in anger. My youngest aunt started crying hysterically, claiming it was impossible. My aunt told my mother and their other siblings about what had happened. The next day, the whole family was in an uproar. Grandpa had forcefully kissed her mouth, so she ran off home!
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I did not know how to tell them until one night, when it was my aunt’s turn to be there, something scarier happened. I avoided too much contact with him and decided to spend more time in the guest room or outdoor.Įverybody wondered about my drastic change of behaviour, because I started hating being there. When my sister left for work, fear started creeping in again. For a while, I wanted to believe it had been just a weird, scary dream. Despite not being alone again, I still did not feel safe. When she did, she wondered why I had locked the bedroom door. Because of that, I had to stay awake, waiting for my sister to return. Not only that, I automatically locked the door. Then I rushed into the guest room, closed the door, and cried silently. I was too shocked to respond for a while. Grandpa staggered into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. When I gave him the same answer, he suddenly exploded with rage as he stood up. The third time, he offered the same thing. He could still walk properly, but why did he suddenly want me alone with him in his bedroom? Minutes passed before he offered the same thing again.
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He went silent for a moment, staring at the TV screen. He looked so tired and I assumed he was ready for bed, so I shook my head. I was busy reading while Grandpa was watching TV, when suddenly he turned to me. Since I was still unemployed despite being in my twenties, I had mostly stayed there and rarely gone out. I found the answer behind why all the housemaids and nurses had resigned early one night.
Despite keeping my word that night, I sensed her oddity. I had to wait until she calmed down and then promised her again. When I excused myself to the bathroom, she suddenly grabbed my arm and pleaded, “Mbak, saya jangan ditinggal sendiri!” (Sis, don’t leave me alone!)Įven when I assured her I would not be long, she refused to let go. The first night after Grandma’s funeral, I was in Grandpa’s room with her while Grandpa was asleep. I started noticing something strange when the nurse who had looked after Grandpa seemed afraid. It was rather sad to see that none of my cousins had stepped forward to take turns with us. Grandpa (and Grandma) had always been kind and loving to all of their grandkids, no exception. I had been in that house since I was little. At least we took turns in two: sometimes it would be my siblings or me with either one of them there.Īt first, everything was alright. Wanting to be a good girl, I said okay when my mother asked me and my siblings to stay there and look after Grandpa.
A family member (or two, at least) had to stay there and look after him.
Since he was living alone in his big house and also unwell, we needed more than a housemaid. In fact, he had been depressed when she was still ailing. When Grandma passed away, Grandpa was very depressed. To some people, I wish it were that easy. Perhaps you are wondering, “What for? Shouldn’t the past stay in the past?” How do I begin? I’ve been considering (and reconsidering) telling this story.